It Wasn't Your Fault, Sammy
by littleaprilroses
Summary: Sam has just released Lucifer from his cage and after he and Dean have a nasty fight, Sam makes a terrible decision. Rated T for Suicide, Language, and Torture. This story is set during season five, though the time line has been changed a bit to fit the story.
1. Chapter 1

**********It Wasn't Your Fault, Sammy…**

**********{Notice!: I do not own the Winchester name nor' have I ever. This was created purely for entertainment of others and myself. Thank You}**

**********Chapter One**

******__****Dean's POV**

Dean sighed, quietly flipping through the old book. Though he tried with all his might he couldn't stop himself from looking up to his brother. And damn it, did he regret it.

Sam was staring blankly at a nearly complete bottle of vodka. His unfocused eyes were rimmed with redness from lack of sleep and had very noticeable dark underlining beneath them.

Sam hadn't slept since… Dean took a deep breath and finished his thought.

Sam hadn't slept since Lucifer had risen.

He knew that was a part of what was killing Sam, his heart ached fiercely, but there was an even bigger reason to it then just that. Not to long ago after the rising, Sam and him had gotten into a fight.

An extremely bad fight that Dean regretted with every fiber of his being. The entire scene replayed in front of his eyes just on cue from his thoughts.

They had just checked into some random 'No-Tell-Motel on there way back to Bobby's. Dean hadn't said one word to Sam since they had left the airport and gotten the car back.

And Sam was willing to accept that because he had refused to even look in Dean's direction since then.

_Dean had just been pulling off his jacket when he heard a small thump._

_ He glanced over quickly to where it had come from, only to find Sam leaning up against the bathroom doorframe, shoulders shaking violently, but no sound coming forth. _

_Dean felt his heart clench and he quietly when to his brother's side, gently laying his hand on his younger brothers shoulder. He felt Sam tense at the physical action and he jerked away from his hand._

_"Dean…D-don't touch me." Dean was startled by the words, but when he saw Sam turn around he gasped out loud. Sam's eyes where pure black! Dean was about to lunge for the holy water but Sam stopped him. _

_Tears streaming down the younger mans face Sam managed to choke out, "D-Dean, It's me.., Dean stared wide eyed at the crying man, as he continued to sob, "I c-can't control them Dean, Sam sobbed loudly._

_ "They won't change back!" Dean stared owl eyed at his little brother, finally being able to whisper, "S-Sammy what the hell is wrong with them?"_

_Sam let out another broken sob and shook his head, "I don't know Dean! When we were leaving the air-port I caught my reflection in a mirror and I couldn't change them back!" _

_Dean didn't know what to do with this. So he responded the only way he knew how to in bad and confusing moments. With Anger._

_"Well!, He shouted at the sobbing man, "Maybe if you hadn't listened to that lying whore Roby and used those GOD DAMN demon powers to kill Lillith, you wouldn't be in this damn mess!" _

_Sam stumbled back, eyes wide with shock at his brother's harsh words._

_His eyes suddenly filled with gushing tears that streamed down his face non-stop, but not tears of sadness, Oh no, tears of anger and pain. _

_"DO YOU THINK I WANTED ANY OF THIS, DEAN?" The younger sibling had shouted at his older brother. "All I wanted was it to be OVER! That's IT! I wanted that bitch to pay for what she did to me! To you!"_

_Dean had stormed over to his brother, his green eyes bright with anger," I told you Sam! I told you OVER and OVER that Ruby was full of crap! BUT NOOOOO!" Dean snarled._

_Blood roaring in his ears, he growled out "You just HAD to have your FRICKEN FIX OF DEMON BLOOD! And look where we are now? The APOCALYPSE has arrived and, and…"_

Dean winced as the next part came into view in his mind, _Pointing an accusing finger directly at his little brothers face, he screamed at the top of his lungs as his voice and entire body shaking, no longer in control of his actions._

_"AND IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!" Sam recoiled violently at his brother's accusation. _

_Eyes now completely his own, filled with nothing but agony and shock at his brothers razor sharp words._

_At the strength of Sam's reaction, Dean was viciously ripped back into control._

_"O-Oh God…S-Sammy, I didn't mean it! I swear, it just slipped out!" But Sam's face stayed tightly the same, and gave Dean a soft response. _

_"Y-yes you did D-D-Dean…Yes you did.." Sam repeated softly, and had turned his back on his self-horrified brother and quietly closed the bathroom door behind him. _

_The soft sound of the lock clicking into place, echoing thought-out the silent room._

_**Sam's POV**_

Sam gently rolled the empty vodka bottle around in his hands.

Few thoughts had been able to pass through his mind that night, mostly because the agony of what and transpired between him and Dean earlier kept roaring up, screaming for attention.

The strong alcohol barley numbing it, whatsoever.

He heard Dean sigh loudly and could feel his eyes bore into him. God…What horrible things was his brother thinking of him at the very moment, Sam wondered quietly.

Did he blame him for dad dying?

For... for mom dying?

He was able to stop the broken sob from bursting from his lips at the dark thoughts.

He couldn't live like this any longer…

Sam knew he should hate his big brother for the things he had said to him.

He should be screaming or hitting, but… Somewhere, deep inside he knew Dean was right.

This WAS all his fault… The sound of floorboards creaking caught Sam's attention and his eyes slowly raised to where the sound had come from.

Dean was staring quietly away from him a small, leather bound book in his hand. Dean cleared his throat quietly and muttered quietly, "I'm going to sleep Sam."

And without another word, walked silently out of the room, leaving the drunken man to dwell in his agony.

_You could escape this all._ His mind whispered softly to him.

Slowly, a gentle voice entered his mind, sounding exactly like his older brothers voice, but instead of the coldness he had just experienced, this version was warm, gentle.

"_There's only one way out of this, little brother…_" The voice said sadly. Sam shook his drunken head as the idea appeared in his mind.

N-No… He wouldn't do that. It wouldn't solve anything. _"But Sam..._" The voice said softly, "_What other option is there? You know how I feel about you now, things will never be the same between us ever again..."_ It went on, keeping the gentleness clear.

"_There's no escaping this. This is the only way for you AND me to be truly at peace now._"

Shaking his head, fresh tears now streaming down his face, "N-No! You're not Dean. He loves me and would NEVER want me to commit suicide!"

The voice was even sadder now, "_Do you really think I love you anymore Sam?..." _He felt himself choke on the lump in this throat as the voice went on.

"_Do you really think that after all you've done to this family, Leaving me and dad to go to that fancy-dancy college of yours, making it so I had to SELL my soul to save your ass just because you couldn't man up enough to kill that bastard Jake when you had the chance, and NOW raising Lucifer that I honestly still love you?_"

Dean's voice was so solid, so sure of itself that Sam could swear he 'heard' his heart break inside his chest. But the voice continued, without mercy, now cold as snow.

"It is all your fault you know, Dean hissed, "It's your fault mom's dead! Everything would have been better if you had never been born!"

Sam was now full on sobbing, clutching his chest as the hate-filled words ran him through like iron daggers.

The voice was now screaming in his head, hate layered words filling his head "_I wish you had never been born Sam!_" It screamed, Sam's eyes wide at the intensity of the pain that rocked through him. It's last five words sealed his fate.

Screaming, the voice shouted its hate filled words as loudly as it could in his head.

"_I WISH YOU WHERE DEAD!_"

His face went completely deadpan, resolution filling it and sobering him up immediately.

Sam slowly stood up and walked mindlessly over to Bobby's desk, grabbing a random pad of paper and a pen.

His hand shaking violently, he scrawled down his last words to his dear, big brother.

_"Dear Dean... I hope you know that I always loved you, even when we fought. No matter what you said, in never really fazed me, because I knew you were just saying those things out of anger, not truth. _

_But tonight….I know that you meant each and every one of them. And…God Dean I'm so sorry…" A tear dripped onto the paper and Sam wiped his eyes furiously, continuing, "For so many different things… For ruining ou…'your' family. _

_It never really was mine... All I did was destroy a perfectly good one. My mere being born destroyed a perfect, beautiful thing and I will never forgive myself for that. _

_Mom dying… it was my fault Dean. You were right Dean, you were right…Everything is MY fault. And I'm so sorry I didn't realize it earlier before you made that god damned deal. _

_I just can't live with it anymore Dean. I know its selfish, but I just cant do it anymore. _

_Know that I will ALWAYS love you, big brother, even though I know I shouldn't. Thank you for managing to put up with me for all these years, I know how awful it must have been._

_So goodbye Dean Winchester.  
_

_~With love, Sam._

He gently folded the paper in half and quietly walked to Dean's room. Silently opening the door he walked over and looked down at his brother for one last, long moment.

"Goodbye Dean..." Sam whispered softly leaning down, laying the note next to Dean's hand, and laid one soft kiss on his forehead.

Dean sighed quietly and buried his head into his pillow, completely oblivious to what was about to occur.

Sam quietly walked out shutting the door quietly behind him. Sam slowly walked to the kitchen, and silently reached into the sink, carefully taking a hold of a long, curved slicing knife.

He stared quietly at it for a long moment, then slowly gripped the hilt with both hands, steadily aiming it directly at his stomach.

"_Do it, for me Sammy... Please?_" The voice whispered softly, now from behind him. Tears streamed down his face as his arms shakily gripped the knife tighter.

"I'll miss you, big brother..." he whispered out softly.

Without a second thought, thrusted the blade as deeply into his abdomen as he could

_**TBC**_


	2. Chapter 2

**It Wasn't Your Fault, Sammy… **

**{Notice!: I do not own the Winchester name nor' have I ever. This was created purely for entertainment of others and me. Thank You}**

**{P.S.: Thanks for all the reviews guys! They made me soooo happy. So I decided to start working on the second chapter right away! Here it is, Enjoy! P.S.S: The story is a little squewerd, because in this story Castiel wasn't blown up. Just thought I'd make sure ya'll knew that beforehand. Enjoy!**

**Chapter 2**

**_Dean's POV_  
**  
Dean groaned as he slowly rolled onto his back and sat up on the lumpy mattress. Bobby was out hunting a werewolf up in Virginia, so he and Sam had the house to themselves till he got back.

Stretching his arms above his head he let his arms drop to his side, only to let them fall onto a small and wrinkled, folded slip of paper.

Where in the hell did this come from…Dean carefully picked up the sheet of paper, smoothing it out before he opened it up to see what it was.

His drowsy eyes only had to scan the paper for a moment before they flew open in horror.

"SAMMY, NO!" He screamed, bolting from his bed in a frenzy and skidding out the open door. "Oh God, oh God, oh God, Sammy please tell me you didn't!" He sobbed loudly as he rounded the corner and stumbled quickly down the stare.

"SAMMY? You down here buddy? Come on man, ANSWER ME!" Dean flew through the empty living straight into the kitchen, when suddenly his feet slipped from under him and he went flying through the air with a surprised cry.

Landing with a loud grunt on his stomach Dean slowly looked up in a dizzy haze.

Everything was blurry but he could distinctly make out a shadowy shape and the color of dark clenching he croaked out "S-Sammy?.."

The warm, foreign liquid now smeared on the side of his face, neck, and body. And when his vision finally cleared….Dear Christ. "SAMMY!" Dean wailed at the top of his lungs.

In front of him lay his baby brother, a long slicing knife completely embedded in his midsection.

He scrambled over to his brother on his hands and knees, constantly slipping and falling back onto his stomach in the large pool of blood that stained the kitchen.

Dean sobbed loudly as he gathered up his little brothers limp body into his blood smeared arms.

"Sammy no, Oh Jesus, Sammy, Oh Christ Sammy, Sammy, Sammy" It became like a mantra for him, unable the see through his horrified stream of tears.

Shaking Sam's body violently, he wailed at the top of his lungs, "GOD DAMNIT, SAMMY, WAKE UP! You will NOT die like this, do you hear me?"

When the younger mans eyes merely stared glassily up at the sealing, Dean let out a loud stream of curses and clutched him tightly to his chest.

Eyes squeezing shut, Dean let out a choked sob and buried his face in his shoulder. "Sammy… He sobbed wildly in a muffled voice. Suddenly he's eyes snapped open as an idea clicked into his mind.

Cass! He brought himself back from the dead maybe he could save Sam!

Quickly fumbling in his jeans pocket with one hand, -the other still clutching the lifeless body to his chest-, he pulled out his cell phone and speed dialed him.

Answering on the first ring, -thank God angels had no life- the angels monotone came from the other end, sounding a bit confused on why Dean would be calling him and responded.

"Dean? What is it. I thought humans usually slept in on Saturday mornings…"

Dean let out a choked sob and quickly rushed through his words frantically, "C-Cass, you gotta get here NOW! I-its Sammy..." Now at full alert, Castiel ordered him to tell him where they were.

"W-We're at Bobby's, I-in the kitchen." Dean stuttered out, only having to wait a moment before he heard the horrified gasp erupt from behind him.

Whirling around with wide eyes, Sam still tightly clutched in his arms, Dean saw Castiel stare owl eyed at the two of them.

"What on Earth happened here?" Castiel questioned loudly.

Dean let out a choked sob and shook his head in confusion, "I-I d-don't know why h-he did it C-Cas." Dean choked out.

Castiel stared down at Sam in confusion then to Dean, "Did what Dean? What happened here? Who did this to Sam?"

Dean looked up though bleary eyes at the confused angel and shook his head helplessly.

"Cass.., He whispered softly, "No one 'did' this to Sam… S-Sam k-k-k…" God help him, he couldn't say it!

Castiel stared down at Dean in confusion only for a moment, when suddenly realization formed in his eyes.

"Oh Dean… Castiel sighed softly, "I'm…I'm so sorry…" Dean only nodded, staring bleakly at Sam's blank, graying face.

"Christ, Sammy…" He sobbed to himself over and over on the inside and out, feeling like his entire body was on fire from the waves of pain that washed over him nonstop.

"I'm so sorry Sammy… This was all MY fault…I was just blaming it on you because I was scared and confused."

He felt the tears start to gush faster from his eyes as his vision started to blear again. A-And I would do anything to take back those things I said… Anything.

"I'm so sorry Sam…," Dean whispered softly under his breath, and looked up to Castiel.

_**Castiel's POV**_

Castiel had assumed that Dean would just continue to cry, but was shocked to see him look up at him the desperate eyes of a child.

"C-Cass, Dean began, hope shinning clearly in his eyes, though Castiel had no idea why. "Y-You can bring him back right? Like you did me. I mean, you brought me back from the dead, now just…just bring him back to." Dean pleaded through his tears.

Castiel felt his heart clench and he paled. Taking in a deep, shaky breath, he forced the mournful words out.

"Dean, I…I'm so sorry but…but I can't revive your brother." Castiel saw the hopeful light that had just shone in Dean's hopeful green eyes fade once the words had left his lips.

"W-What? Why the hell not! You brought me back!" Dean shouted.

Flinching at Dean's tone, Castiel continued quietly, "Dean, I had full Grace then. I had the angels of heaven supporting me back then. You know that my powers have weakened dramatically and I can't even exercise demons anymore…"

Castiel looked down sadly, "I'm sorry Dean but I'm just not powerful enough to bring Sam back. I wish I could tell you different but…you're brothers' gone." Castiel ended softly.

Dean looked on the edge of a psychotic breakdown when suddenly, a strange glint entered his eyes. "Dean…?" Castiel questioned carefully.

The glint became brighter and Dean answered quietly, "You might not be strong enough to bring him back Cas…But I think we know someone who is."

* * *

**Ohhhhh, aren't I the worst? Gotta love those cliffhangers! Who could this mystery man or woman that Dean is talking about be? Who is strong enough to bring back the beloved younger brother that is Sam Winchester? Tune in next chapter and find out! Good Reviews might make me more motivated to post faster. -Grinning evilly- hint hint. **

**P.S.S: Sorry that this chapter was a little shorter then the other but I gotta make sure you keep coming back for more! See ya next time! : - )**


	3. Chapter 3

******It Wasn't Your Fault, Sammy… **

**{Notice!: I do not own the Winchester name nor' have I ever. This was created purely for entertainment of others and me. Thank You}**

**P.S: Yes, I know that Gabriel wasn't introduced till a little further into the season but I felt that his presence was needed! So just use your imagination and all you detail critics out there just suck it up or leave this story right now! Enjoy!**

**Chapter 3**

_**Dean's POV**_

Dean soundly sorted through his duffle bag while Castiel grumbled behind him. "Dean this idea is reckless and I strong advise you NOT to go through with it."

Dean sighed loudly as he pulled the can of angelic holy oil out from the hidden pocket in his jacket.

"Cas…We have no other choice. Since you're not strong enough to bring Sam back, we have no other options. We have to summon him."

Castiel let out a defeated sigh, staying quite for a moment, then questioned softly, "But Dean… What makes you think that he will help us? Were not exactly on what you humans would call, 'good terms' at the moment."

Dean snorted at Castiel's failed attempt at human logic, then paused for a moment before letting out a long sigh.

"I don't know Cas…But I have to believe that there's a hope, a chance that we can bring him back. Or..or I just might go insane."

When Castiel stayed silent behind him, Dean assumed that was about as much of encouragement he was going to get.

With a loud sigh, Dean pulled out the small leather bound book from his back pocket and flipped to the dog eared page with the summoning spell.

"You ready, Cas?" Receiving only a small, disgruntled grunt from behind him, Dean couldn't help but smile and how much more human Cas was since he'd first met him.

Looking back down to the page, Dean took a deep breath, he lit the Zippo-lighter and tossed it at the oiled circle, it instantly bursting into flames and taking its form.

Dean then chanted the spell that should have summed the fallen arch-angel, and waited for a moment, glancing back to Cas in confusion.

He had just been about to ask him why it hadn't worked when suddenly a familiar piped up from behind him.

"Lookin' for me fellas? If I had known we were supposed to meet up I would have worn my good sweater-vest." Dean spun around to find a less the less-then pleased arch-angel staring back at him.

Dean narrowed his eyes and nodded roughly towards the arch angel/trickster. "Sooooo, what can I help you this fine evening Dean? Need help with the ladies?"

Dean scoffed and shook his head. Gabriel raised an eyebrow and quipped, "Need help with the guys? I gotta say Dean-o, not my strongest area of expertise, but hey, the 60's was a very informative time…"

Dean growled in annoyance and cut the jackass off. He didn't need his bull…

Not now.

"Cram it, feathers, I don't need your bullcrap right now." Gabriel made of show of mock hurt and answered, voice cracking, "Why Dean…I thought we were close then that. Is name calling really necessary?"

Dean shook his head in disgust, raking in a deep breath and slowly releasing it.

"Gabriel…We, Dean groaned inwardly at the following words, knowing he would never live them down.

Gabriel seemed to know this to, -the slimy bastard- and perked up with sudden interest. "Yesssss?" He stretched out much more than needed, a shit eater grin spreading across his face.

"We need... He ground out, "...your help."

Gabriel exploded into a fit of claps jumping up and down with that goddamn shit eater grin still plastered over his face.

"I knew you believed in me Deanie! So watta need? Shiny new car? I can make that happen." He grinned widely and waited for my request.

Dean took a deep breath and slowly whispered out, "I-I want you to bring Sam back from the dead like Cas did me…"

This seemed to catch Gabe off guard because Dean saw a split second of shock and –was that sadness?- run over the angels face.

Though it only lasted for a moment before the small smirk returned. "That's a big order there Dean-o. Not sure if I can fill it. And even if I did, what would I get for my good effort?" Gabriel challenged.

Dean narrowed his eyes again, hearing Castiel shift uncomfortably on the barrel he was sitting on behind him.

"Total immunity from us. We won't ever come after your ass again." Gabriel raised his eyebrow in disbelief.

"You seriously expect me to believe that chuckles? How stupid do you think I am?" Dean disciplined himself from answering that honestly and continued on.

"Apparently very stupid since you haven't take this deal already. Because honestly if you're not smart enough to take a golden, once in a lifetime chance like the Winchester brothers never coming after your sorry ass for as long as were alive."

Dean shook his head. "Then your obviously way more stupid then I ever imagined. And believe me, that's hard for even YOU to accomplish, oh mighty arch-angel."

Dean sneered. He saw Gabriel's eyes narrow on his face, making him force himself not to shy away from the angels intense glare.

"Watch your mouth little boy. I've been around since before Cain and Abel were even specks in my Fathers eye and I've picked up far more tricks on the art of torture then your pathetic little ass ever did in the pit."

Dean couldn't help but flinch at that.

_Low blow man…Low blow..._

Taking a deep breath , he gazed quietly at the flame surrounded angel. "So Gabe, we gotta deal?" Dean asked, raising a question eye.

Gabriel stared quietly at Dean's face, eyes flickering a few times between him and Cas. Dean felt his chest tense up in anticipation as he waited for his last hopes answer.

Finally the man gave Dean one small, sharp nod.

"Fine Dean, you got yourself a deal. But so help me God if you even think about breaking it Sam's soul will be ripped out of his body and thrown back to god-knows where faster than you can even _think_ to blink."

Dean felt as if the weight of the world had just been thrown off his shoulders and he have him a soft nod.

Gabriel sighed and looked at Dean, "You can let me out of this ring-o-fire anytime now here princess. Not getting any older." Dean sighed and carefully poured water around the fire, allowing him to step outside the ring.

Just as he was turning to leave, Gabriel suddenly turned back to Dean with a small, curious gleam in his eye.

"Just out of curiosity…How did Sasquatch manage to get himself ganked?"

Dean turned his back to the angel, walking back towards his and muttered coldly into the air.

"He didn't. Killed himself..."

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**Don't forget to send in your feedback!**


	4. Chapter 4

**It Wasn't Your Fault, Sammy… **

**{Notice!: I do not own the Winchester name nor' have I ever. This was created purely for entertainment of others and myself. Thank You}**

**Chapter 4**

_**Dean's POV**_

Dean's trusty Impala sped fastly down the highway, pressing his foot down more on the gas pedal, -totally breaking his 'No-Going-Above-50mph rule-.

"Dean... A voice piped up suddenly from his side, causing him to swerve a bit. " I suggest you slow down before you're the one in need of resurrection –again-."

Dean shot a glare over in the angels' direction, muttering to himself, but took the advice and slowly relaxed his foot a few inches off the gas.

As the car slowed down, he silently kept staring forward at the outstretch of road in front of him.

"Hey Cass… He mumbled softly.

"Yes, Dean?" The angel replied. Dean took a shaky breath then slowly asked, "Do you…from what you've seen so far…think that I'm a bad big brother?" Castiel was silent for a long moment, then answered honestly.

"No Dean…I think you are a very good elder brother. Over the centuries, closeness to my siblings was never a very strong factor in my family." Castiel looked somberly out his window.

"If we lost a brother, or sister we were discouraged against morning… Zachariah said it was a sign of weakness and would not be tolerated." He looked down quietly at his lap for a moment before going on.

"When I saw how broken and lost you were after your brothers' death I knew that he was wrong." Castiel shook his head gently.

"You and Samuel are two of the most dedicated human beings I have ever met, and though you have both been through so much loss it still shocks me how you can both keep moving on with your lives, even when you, -quite literally- have the weight of the world on your shoulders."

Dean stared wide-eyed at the dark road before him. He couldn't stop the bit of emotion that seeped into his voice.

"Wow Cass… Uhm, Dean shuffled slightly in his seat, "T-Thanks for that man…" He couldn't help the warming feeling that gently soothed his aching sadness that still pulsed through his body.

He saw Cas nod awkwardly to his side, and Dean couldn't help but smile a little at how awkward the angel looked.

Poor bastard, that was probably the most deep thing he's ever said to another person before.

Dean suddenly realized where he was and felt his stomach knot up violently as he slowly pulled into Bobby's dirt driveway.

Gulping he carefully turned off the softly rumbling car and jumped out of the car door.

Dean heard the fallen angel trail closely behind as he slowly walked up the old wood step's to the door.

"Well Cass… Dean breathed out weakly, "Here goes nothing…." He slowly turned the cold knob, opening it just a bit and leaned his head through it.

Shaking he called out, fear burning through his veins as he did.

"S-Sammy? You Hear?"

**

* * *

**

**I know, I know! I'm a horrible person for leaving such a big cliffhanger. But, like I've said before, must make sure ya'll keep coming back. I know this was a very short chapter, -473 words to be precise, Lolz- but I felt that it was necessary. See you guys next chapter! –Reviews are very good for motivation- *hint hint***

**P.S: I know there has been a lot of confusion on this story and I'm sooooooo sorry! I messed up on my first copy by messin up the chapters order and stuff. Sorry about that, I'll make sure it doesn't happen again! Enjoy!**

_**~Littleaprilroses**_


	5. Chapter 5

**It Wasn't Your Fault, Sammy…  
**

**{Notice!: I do not own the Winchester name nor' have I ever. This was created purely for entertainment of others and myself. Thank You} **

**Chapter 5**

**[****6 months in Earth Time, ****60 years in Hell Time]**

_**Sam's POV**_

_Pain. Fear. Need Dean. NEED DEAN!_ Screamed one part of Sam's mind. No! Another shouted back.

Don't deserve Dean... D-Did this for him.

The suddenly blinding flash of metal on skin snapped Sam out of his inner battle and he let out a loud wail of agony.

The pain was so intense as he started slamming his head back on the stone he was chained to as he felt the curved blade inch slowly across his chest.

He felt his sanity scream for mercy as he heard the wails of pain and agony completely surround him.

The demon wielding the blade above him just smiled and smiled as she watched, inky black eyes showing nothing but amusement at his agony.

"Ohhhhhh Sammy boy, you have absoultey no IDEA how long I've been wanting to do the." The demon sighed.

Sam let out a grunt of pain as he gasped out, "O-Oh really? What were you? S-Some demon bitch me and my bro-, Sam winced mentally catching himself before he finished that word, "me and 'Dean' ganked?"

He somehow managed to finish breathlessly, also managing a small smirk.

The demon only smiled, shaking its head back and forth before driving the knife completely through his newly over-sensitive shoulder.

Sam let out an ear-piercing scream of pain as the searing hot metal drove through him.

"Ohhh no Sammy, not me, The demon sighed, slowly twisting and turning the metal around in his shoulder as Sam groaned and whimpered in utter agony.

"But my father, he's the one you shouldn't have screwed with, cause now I got you right where I want you..."

She smiled evilly down at him, a horrible light of sick happiness shinning in her eyes.

"F-Father…Who the-?"Sam let out a loud shriek of pain as she jerked down on the knife slicing through the tender muscle and tearing the bone out of the way.

Sam choked his way though the tears of agony.

"W-Who the hell a-are you talking about?" Sam finished, staring up at her.

She smiled leaning forward, causing Sam to instinctively flinch, as she hissed in his ear, "You and your asshole of a brother knew him pretty damn well as,_ 'yellow-eyed demon'_!"

Sam's eyes grew with surprise, but the demon was now angry.

And angry demons + him chained to a stone slab = a assload of pain…

* * *

**I'm evily good at writing short, jaw dropping chaps :] See ya'll next chap!**


	6. Chapter 6

**It Wasn't Your Fault, Sammy… **

**{Notice!: I do not own the Winchester name nor' have I ever. This was created purely for entertainment of others and me. Thank You}**

**Chapter 6**

**_Dean's POV_  
**

"GOD DAMNIT ALL!" Dean roared as he slammed his fist into the wall. Castiel watched, eyes wide at Dean's violent way of coping.

"That lying sack of _crap!_ The bastard promised me he'd bring Sam back and he still hasn't!" Dean slammed his fist through another wall, swearing profusely the entire time.

"Dean… Castiel interjected into the grieving mans rampage, "Gabriel has to be completely unnoticed by the other angels for him to be able to bring Samuel back."

Dean's eyes flew over to the rogue angel, hate still flaring in them. "He's a goddamn ARCH-ANGEL! He has been hiding from them for years as a fricken Trickster! Besides being the total douche bag he is, what other reason does he have -besides driving me insane- not to have brought Sam back yet?"

Castiel visibly flinched at the screeching, older brother.

Dean, noticing this took a deep, shaky breath and lowered his fists to his sides. Dean dropping down, he saw Dean's entire body start to quiver.

"I-I'm sorry Cas… I just..." Dean's voice cracked as he looked up, fresh tears streaming down his face.

"Sammy's all I got Cas… He's the reason I sold my soul, and would do it again if put in the situation, and…"

Castiel watched, eyes going even wider as Dean, the strong, cocky, older brother's face crumbled in front of him and started sobbing into his arm, now placed firmly over his face.

"Dean… Without the support of the other angels, Gabriel needs to come up with the power to enter hell, get a hold of Sam and raise him... Castiel said softly.

"He just needs some time to prepare and then I'm sure he will bring your brother back to you..."

However, Dean did not seem to be paying the angel any attention, just kept sobbing pitifully into his arm. His entire body was quivering at the power of his sobs.

Castiel didn't know what came over him in the next following moments, but some sort of protective, unbelievably power urge to comfort this beaten solider washed over him.

And with in a matter of seconds, his arms were wrapped firmly around the hunter as he pulled him into a warm, but equally as awkward hug.

"Everything will be alright in time Dean… That much I promise you." Came Castiel's firm voice.

Dean's bone deep sobs stopped for a moment, surprise obviously coming over him, and Castiel feared his battered friend would pull away in shock or distaste.

But was even more shocked as he felt the hunters arms wrap tightly around his waist, and felt his head bury into his shoulder as the sobs continued.

Though not as strong as before. Castiel felt his heart twist and wither in sympathy for the hunter he had come to befriend in the past two years.

"It's okay Dean…." Castiel murmured softly, patting the man on the back.

"Everything is going to be okay..."

**

* * *

**

**_Awwwwwwww! _How heart warming. Will Gabriel keep his promise and grip Sammy tight, raising him from perdition?**

**Tune in next chapter and find out! **

**Feedback is greatly appreciated! :D**


	7. Chapter 7

**It Wasn't Your Fault, Sammy…**

**{Notice!: I do not own the Winchester, name nor' have I ever. This was created purely for entertainment of others and myself. Thank You}**

**Chapter 7**

_**Sam's POV**_

"P-Please… Sam sobbed, blood oozing out of his mouth as he begged. "N-no more…" He suddenly let out an ear-piercing scream of agony as he felt the blazing hot piece of metal impale itself through his chest. A loud peal of delighted giggles erupted from the demon that wielded his source of pain above him.

"But Sammy, I just started having fun." Sam let out a stream of curses in-between his bone deep sobs of agony and fear.

These feelings had become so familiar to him in the endless years of torture that he had thrust himself into so long ago. Every day it was some new form of sick torture. Should it be letting the Hellhounds use him for soul fetching practice, just as a chew toy, or maybe even slowly cutting him open to promptly make his insides, outsides.

Sam don't know about you, but there's something about seeing his own intestines splayed out in front of him that honestly does a pretty good number on his mental health.

Then again, this is Hell. It's meant to drive you insane. To strip you of every last bit of your sanity, empathy, and humanity. But… Sam winced as the name slowly formed in his mind… D-Dean is worth it… _How can you still believe that!_ A voice suddenly snarled inside his head.

_Because! _Sam mentally hissed back at the voice, _He's our brother! Think of how many times he's saved us! How much he's given up! He went to hell for us…_ Sam winced at the memory of Dean lying bloody and cold in his arms.

The mind numbing pain that came with seeing his brother just stare sightlessly up at him, no matter how many times he begged for him to blink, crack a joke, call him a bitch, for God's sake! The sudden crack of a whip snapped him out of his deep thought, causing him the flinch and whimper loudly as he looked up to his next torturer. A large, black-eyed frightening man stared back down to him, grinning madly as he loudly rung the leather whip in his large hands.

Sam let out another sob as he saw the man snap the whip up into the air and it catch onto fire. "My turn, Sammy boy…" The demon growled, as he strode over fastly to the youngest Winchester boy. Looking down sadly, -tears of actual blood blurring his vision- at his once shredded midsection; he wasn't surprised to see it was, of course now fully healed. Ready for another round of the endless torture to come.

It always was….

_**Castiel's POV**_

Dean had become completely cut off from the world in the couple months following his brothers' suicide. Only speaking when talked to directly. Castiel had also noticed that almost never had complete eye contact with a person, and when he did…

Castiel shivered as the mental image formed in his mind.

Dean's once brilliantly colored green eyes had now somehow become a dull, lifeless steel gray. There was barley ever even a flick of life in them. He was, in all definitions of the fraise, the walking dead. His once bronze, well-tanned skin had now faded to an unhealthy shade of gray.

And from previous encounters, -such as constant headaches- Castiel had reason to believe that Dean was drunk nearly every night, so he kept a very close eye on the grieving brother. His suspicions where proven true when Castiel received a slurred phone message from the eldest Winchester, listing his location and a demand that he be there right when he got this.

Castiel sighed quietly as he snapped the cell phone shut. The past two months, Castiel has been dead set on finding Gabriel and demanding that he tell him why he had not returned Sam to his brother yet, but so far had found nothing in the slightest bit helpful on tracking him down.

Castiel sighed once more as he slipped the small hand held contraption into his trench-coat pocket, and with the rustling of wings, was off to attempt to comfort his grieving friend.

_**Dean's POV**_

Dean stared blankly at the third half-empty bottle of scotch that sat in his hand. He was stowed away in some random crap hole of a motel room that he'd checked into earlier today. He was momentarily located in some backwoods town located around the dense forest in Wisconsin.

Cass and him had gotten word that there was some kind form of a demon worshiping cult forming around hear and they'd come down to see if they could prevent any deaths before they occurred.

_Right,_The cold, sarcastic voice rang in his head, _Because your so great at stopping people from dying_. Dean clutched the glass bottle to the near point of it shattering.

He took a good swig of the foul smelling auburn liquid and grimaced for a short moment. The stuff tasted nasty, probably due to the fact that he had purchased the cheap, $9.59 crap that he had found on sale at a mini-mart on his way here. Dean winced softly as he felt the never-ending cold slowly creep back across his chest and quickly took a large swig off the bottle, grimacing at the awful taste and burn that rolled down his throat as he swallowed.

Sammy always said that he was to cheap for his own good… Dean let out a smothered choke of agony as he felt the familiar, pleasant feeling of searing pain shoot directly from his brain down to his feet and ricochet back and forth till it faded slowly away, waiting for an opportunity to make its reappearance.

Now he bets you're thinking, _'Did he just say, 'pleasant' feeling of searing pain? Naw…he must just be so drunk he's not thinking straight.' _Well, your wrong. You're right on one part though, He's not thinking straight.

Not since his brother committed suicide two months ago, thinking that Dean hated him for things that were never his fault. And to top it all off, was forced to bury him in a fricken pinewood box.

But no, I actually meant 'pleasant'. Because that feeling of searing agony helps me remember that apparently, Dean's not completely dead inside. Not yet anyway. He stared quietly at the at the bottle, just about to take another numbing swig when he hear the light rustle of feathers, and glanced up.

Quiet, very serious dark blue eyes stared back at him. Dean opened his mouth in an attempt to say something, but the rebel angel held up his hand silently, cutting him off, and gruffly answered.

"Dean…We need to talk. Now."

**TBC**


	8. Chapter 8

**It Wasn't Your Fault, Sammy…**

{Notice!: I do not own the Winchester, name nor' have I ever. This was created purely for entertainment of others and myself. Thank You}

Chapter 8

Castiel's POV

Dean stared curiously up at the stoic looking angel. "And w-what would t-tha-that *hic* be ezactly?" The older man slurred. Castiel took a few moments to stare into Dean's blurry eyes, and took a deep breath before speaking carefully.

"What you're doing to yourself Dean…Its unhealthy, and I can no longer stand idly by while you mentally and physically destroy yourself." Castiel saw Dean's eyes narrow the him and slowly sat up straighter, leaning forward and flexing his jaw.

"I h-have no idea w-what your talking ab-about Cass." He muttered, looking tensely down at the floor. He heard the angel sigh loudly in front of him and the gruff voice answer, sadness clear in it.

"Dean… I know Sam's death must have taken a great toll on you bu-"Dean's eyes shot up, the burning anger brightly lighting up his eyes. "Your damn right it took a _'great toll' _on me!" He snarled, ignoring the angel's flinch. "I went to _hell _for 40 years in order to save Sammy from dying! And now I realize that it was all for nothing in the end!" Dean bolted up and flung the empty glass bottle at the wall, earning a loud '_SMASH!_' and angry shouts to _'shut the hell up!'_ from the next room.

Castiel was watched quietly with a sad expression on his face as the inebriated brother vent his inner turmoil over his lost brother. And after a few minuets of deep, shaky breathing and a few more dry sobs, Dean finally calmed down. His eyes becaming that cold, dead grey again.

"Dean… Castiel began softly.

"It wasn't your fault. Sam chose to do that horrible thing to himself. There was nothing you could have done to prevent it." Dean rewarded that comment with a loud snort and a shaky headshake. "N-No Cass… Dean sniffled out

"Sammy did that to himself because he thought that I didn't love him before… That I never loved him." Castiel felt his heart ache as he watched the broken hunter clutch his chest, speaking tersely through his blurring eyes. "He thought… That just because he was born that everything was his entire fault. That his very existence was a curse."

Dean let out another choked sob, and Castiel felt his heart squeeze even tighter as he saw a stream of tears slowly start to slide down the mans face. He watched sadly as Dean tilt his head back, tear filled eyes staring at the sealing as he sobbed,

"You were never a c-curse Sammy… The elder brother whispered, entire body quivering from the unheard sobs, "You were the one thing that kept me sane all these years. I miss you baby boy… Castiel watched as Dean squeezed his eyes tightly shut and drop his wet face into his hands as he shook and gasped out his tears.

"And I always loved you." He heard the older man muffle weakly into his hands. Dean was sobbing pathetically into his hands when suddenly they both tensed up as they heard the sudden flutter of wings and a sarcastic comment of, "Awwwww, how touching. I think I might actually cry." enter there ears.

**DUN DUN DUHHHHH! Ohhhhhhh Imma bitch aren't I? xD WHEN CLIFFHANGERS ATTACK! *A pie is thrown at me and I duck just in time* Geesh! Snippy aren't we? *Curiously runs finger through the mix and sticks it in mouth, grimacing immediately after* BLEGH! *spits it out* Couldn't ya'll at least have thrown GOOD PIE? *sigh* Anywayz, I know it was short but hey, More reviews, more of a chapter. Less reviews… Well, you all know where this is going. Anyways! See everyone next chapter!**

~Littleaprilroses

READ & REVIEW : - )  



	9. Chapter 9

**It Wasn't Your Fault, Sammy…**

**{Notice!: I do not own the Winchester, name nor' have I ever. This was created purely for entertainment of others and myself. Thank You}**

**[Extra Note: I am just updating like crazy huh? Lolz, Its alotta work for me but damnit I know how much I hate it when people take forever to update their storys and I figure that since my chapters have been pretty short lately that I might as well work my muse overtime and squeeze out another chapter. Hope you Enjoy!**

**~Littleaprilroses]**

**Chapter 9**

**Dean's POV**

Dean felt all former sorrow drain instantly from his body as his eyes landed on the former trickster/archangel. "SON OF A BITCH!" Dean barked and jumped to his feet, surging with hatred as his eyes landed on the archangels smirking face.

"Did'ja miss me Deanie?" He asked with a large, cheeky grin. Dean was about to respond to this with a good punch to the face, -even though it wouldn't hurt the bastard in the least-

But Cas beat him to the punch. Literally! Neither Dean nor' Gabriel saw the rebel angel until his arm shot out forward, clocking him straight in between the eyes and sending him flying back into the wall with a loud,_ 'TWUMP'._

Dean gaped in disbelief and pride as Gabriel just started up, wide-eyed before blinking a couple dozen times and shaking his head as if to clear it.

"Wow…Honestly can't say I saw that one coming." Castiel responded with a small grunt, narrowing his eyes and quietly rubbing his offending fist.

"YOU owe us some answers Gabriel." Came Castiel's gruff response. Dean nodded tensely, not trusting himself to speak without screaming a colorful varity of profanitys at him. Gabriel stared at both of them blankly for a long moments, carefully rubbing the sore area between his eyes, then sighed loudly. "I guess I kinda do huh?"

Dean and Castiel both nodded at the same exact time. Both sharp with there eyes narrowed. Gabriel sighed and started to explain. "Well, ya see its like this. I have full intent of keeping my end of the deal." He snorted, shaking his head,

"Like I need you two ass clowns hounding me all the time. Thank you, but no thank you." Dean let out a low growl, causing Gabriel to roll his eyes and continue, "But its not as easy as just popping in walking up to the demons and going,

"'Yea, hey I'm gunna just grab someone here and drag them outta Hell, could you point them out for me?' I gotta find the kid first!" It was Castiel's turn to snort.

"What on Earth are you talking about? We were able to find Dean within a few hours of our assignment! Its been 2 and ½ months and you have produced nothing even remotly like success!" Gabriel narrowed his eyes violently on the younger angel and ground out, "Cas… Its not THAT simple…They…"

Gabriel took a deep breath before going on, "They have Sam in a deeper part of Hell then they had Dean.. Where, Gabriel paused for a moment, taking a deep breath before, "Where the torture is intensified to the highest extent.

" He felt his breath catch in his chest. A cold quiet passed through the room before and while he was choking on his words, Dean forced out, "A-And what e-exactly does that mean for S-Sam?" Gabriel stared quietly up at Dean for a long moment, then quietly amended. "It means that if I don't find you brother in the next 2 days, You are seriously screwed

**Sam's POV**

Apparently, demons are more religious then we thought.

Well, with the punishment part anyways. They had just nailed him to a large wooden cross, -yea heard right, NAILED his feet and hands to it- all grinning wildly among themselves as they did. Sam's screams of pain as the nails pierced through his skin only seemed to excite them more and they all started to all giggle happily to each other. Sneering, one of his regular tortures walked up with his favorite long, leather whip in one hand.

And in his other was a pure black, thorny crown. Smirking, the demon chuckled lightly at the sight.

"OH great leader! You can't lead an entire demon army without your crown can you?" Sam tried to protest but was cut off by his own loud, shrilling scream and loud sobs as the demon pulled the thorny crown onto his head, drawing a steady stream of blood to ooze from his head. "There, now doesn't that look nice?" The demon commented to the others, holding his chin, one arm tucked under his elbow as he studied his work.

The demons all agreed as Sam felt himself wither in pain, head drooping down weakly as he stared lifelessly at the ground. A loud snarl suddenly erupted from in front of him and Sam let out a loud yelp of agony as he felt a hand snack him so hard across his cheek that his head flew to the side and blood spewed from his mouth.

And the demons next few words would change his words completely."Your pathetic you know that?" The demon hissed in his ear as his head hung weakly towards the ground. "I've heard about you Winchesters. Thinking you so high and god damn mighty.

Well look where you are now buddy boy! Your in Hell and your precious big brother Dean ain't never coming to save you." And with that one smack, and those few words.…though utterly insugnificant compared to all the other torture he had been through for so long, he felt something snapped inside him, and everything changed. He was right… Dean WOULDN'T come to his rescuse. Not this time.

And that no matter how many times he cried and begged, screamed and bled, that this was his fate. That this was the fate he had taken upon himself for his older brother. And suddenly, he felt as if someone and just lifted a painfully large weight from his shoulders and he couldn't stop himself from letting out a small chuckle. A strange sense of intense power and warmth flooding his chest.

The demon infront of him let out a loud roar of anger, "HOW DARE YOU LAUGH AT ME YOU DISGUSTING WORM! I'LL MAKE YOU PAY FOR THAT!" He screeched. Sam felt his entire body quiver with laughter, though not knowing why and suddenly he felt a large, joker like grin spread across his face and he looked up at the seething demon in front of him.

A loud group of gasps suddenly filled the scream filled room of the tortured souls, as the demon in front of him face changed from a fierce, outraged scowl, -the whip raised above his head that he was about to strike him with now frozen,- and his inky black eyes filled with horror.

"Oh Jesus Christ..." Chuckling once more at the demons choice of words, Sam couldn't help but slowly tilt his head, curious at why the demon had refrained from striking him. His crazy grin still plastered across his face.

"What is it? Something wrong there pal?" The demon just dropped the whip and scrambled back towards the group of demons behind them, everyone of there faces an equal match of horror. Whispering fiercely to one another, a smaller one suddenly scurried up to him, shaking in fear, her black eyes filled with terror as he merely just smiled down at her, strangely amused at the sight of her fear.

And he watched her shake as she carefully helped Sam down from the cross. Though Sam was completely confused at what they were doing, he just kept the grin in place, reveling in the awesome sense of power and warmth that pulsed through him.

Not knowing that he was now, their ruler. Not knowing that his iris's were now, a swirling mixture of there fathers very own, yellow. That he was now…A full demon.

**I repeat, DUN DUN DUHHHHH! No one saw that one coming right? *evil grin***

**Well, now you have to come back! Your just to curious to find out what happens next to not! And Imma take foreverrrrrrr to update so that you'll never wanna stop reading my stories! *doing victory dance when suddenly a large fan girl runs up from my side and tackles me to the ground* **

**"HOLY CRAP!" I would scream but the girls hand would fly over my mouth and she would pin me there, hissing "You will update as soon as you can and you will make the next chapter even better or else!" I would nod fiercely, eyes wide and she would glare, giving me death looks before jumping off and bolting off. **

**Slowly sitting up I would watch her run away, then slowly look towards you. "Dude ...Supernatural fangirls are fricken CRAZY!"**


	10. Chapter 10

**It Wasn't Your Fault, Sammy…**

**{Notice!: I do not own the Winchester name nor' have I ever. This was created purely for entertainment of others and myself. Thank You}**

**Chapter 10**

**Gabriel's POV**

There are about a thousand different places I would rather be right now then fricken hell. Surfboarding in Fiji with the ladies. Japan munching down on some of the awesome candy they got. Hell! He'd even settle for Canada. Their bacon is surprisingly good on top of of cotton candy flavored ice cream.

Gabriel sighed loudly as he carefully shifted through Hell's deepest plain. I made that damn deal with Winchester and now I gotta find a suicidal Sasquatch. If that over grown bastard ends up killing himself again once I find him and yank him 'outta hear, Dean sure as hell not come crying to me again.

Gabriel grimaced as he heard the loud piercing scream and wails for mercy erupting from a female soul that was about 10 feet away from him. "_PLEASE!_ PLEASE HELP ME, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME!"

Scrubbing his face with his hand, Gabriel couldn't help but feel sympathetic towards the soul and shook his head sadly.

He had better find Sam soon…****

Sam's POV

San stared blankly at the cold, gray cell wall in front of him. It had been about a week or so since the torture had ceased. Or maybe a year, a decade. Sam didn't know, time was about as measurable down here as water was solid. But anyways, after 27 years of endless torture, he was a bit curious as to why it had suddenly just stopped.

After his little... episode, the demons had hauled him from his rack and thrown him in here. He hadn't heard from them since, but he know they would be back soon enough.

Where they finally out of ideas? Sam snorted to himself at that sad attempt of hope. No…It was something else. Something more serious then torture idea block. He thought quietly for a moment, and suddenly an idea struck him.

They had been treating him differently since their... Sam shivered a bit from the memory but continued, since their 'reenactment' of the crucifixion. The day when he had actually laughed at their torture. Sam grimly shook his head. Why the hell had he done that?

He'd just been practically begging for more pain, -if physically possible- but... he hadn't been able to help it. Ever since that day nothings REALLY fazed him like it used to. The never ending screams of horror, agony and fear used to drive him to the near brink of insanity. But now…Well they honestly didn't really faze him at all anymore.

He actually kind of …Sam shivered softly once more. He was actually starting to…

Enjoy them.

**_*gasp!* _Oh no!**** Sam's starting to like the screams? I**** hope this doesn't mean what I think it does...****Tune in next chap to see what happens next!**


	11. Chapter 11

**It Wasn't Your Fault, Sammy…**

**{Notice!: I do not own the Winchester name nor' have I ever. This was created purely for entertainment of others and myself. Thank You}**

**Chapter 11**

_**Gabriel's POV** _

Finally! Gabriel smiled widely to himself as he carefully eavesdropped on the two demons conversation from behind a wall, "We never saw it coming, Alexander." The female one hissed to the larger man in front of her,

"We were in the middle of one of our…" The demon girl smirked a little, "Play sessions, Gabriel felt disgust twist in his gut at the thought of the demons idea of a 'Play Session'. "And then suddenly…" She just shook her head quietly,

"I don't know. But Alistair must be alerted immediately!" The large demon let out a grunt and nodded. "Where are you keeping the Winchester son?" it questioned, "I need to know so I don't have to keep Alistair waiting… He's not the patient kinda guy if you haven't noticed." The smaller demon nodded and rattled off the name and number of the cell Sam was stored in.

Gabriel quickly memorized it and disappeared before reappearing in front of the cell door.

Carefully pulling the squeaky, large metal latch that was sealing the room shut, the archangel slowly opened it and peered in. I wonder what that demon was talking about earlier…His mind suddenly wondered. Peaking his head in, the angel quickly looked around the room.

"Sammy boy? You in hear?" He hissed out.

He heard a small grunt from his side and looked over quickly to see what is was, arms raised to fight off whatever had been locked in.

He was startled a little to see a dimly lit soul, -Sam's he was assuming- clutching his leg's to his and quietly rocking. Feeling a little sympathy he said, trying to sound cheerful, "Hey princess, your handsome prince has come to rescue yo-…"

But was cut off when the soul of Sam Winchester slowly lifted his head, exposing his face. Eyes going wide, Gabriel shook his head and sighed loudly, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose. "Oh…shit."

_**Dean's POV **_

"Dean…? Are you in here?" Came the soft voice and light raps on his door from the rebel angel standing outside. Dean let out a long exhausted sigh, tearing his eyes away from his amulet that he'd been holding in his hand and staring at for the past, -he glanced up and whistled- 'bout 45 minuets apparently, and shouted, "Yea Cas, I'm here. Come in."

He heard the small clicking of the knob turning and glanced up wearily to see the angel shuffle in, closing the door behind him with a small 'click' and turn around.

"Did you need something Cas?" He sighed, pulling his amulet back over his neck and dropping his face into his hands, rubbing it vigorously. After waiting a moment for a reply, and getting none,

Dean felt his stomach clench lightly and hesitantly raised his face halfway from his hands, arching an eyebrow and questioned softly,

"What is it Cas… Does Gabe have a lead on finding Sam?" He saw the angel's expression darken and he lowered his head into the shadows, as if to hide himself from the brother. "Dean…" Castiel answered quietly, his voice grave. Dean felt himself go ramrod straight, fear clouding his mind,

"Cas for God's sakes tell me if that sonuvabitch knows anything about my brother!" He was shaking with a mixture of emotions now. Castiel slowly raised his eyes face from the shadows, though half was still cloaked in the darkness, and whispered,

"Gabriel has found Sam, Dean…But there were…" He sighed loudly as his eyes shifted over towards the window, staring quietly out, "Unforeseen complications..."

* * *

**Please remember to R&R people! :)**


	12. Chapter 12

**It Wasn't Your Fault, Sammy…**

**{Notice!: I do not own the Winchester name nor' have I ever. This was created purely for entertainment of others and myself. Thank You}**

**[Extra Note: Wow! It's been a lil while since I've last updated. This month has just been and 'Ughhh' kinda month xD So much crap going on and I haven't really had much time to update. Hope ya'll like the new chap! Enjoy! :)]**

**Chapter 12**

_**Sam's POV**_

Sam stared blankly around the new room in front of him. It was, -Sam thought for a moment tilting his head slightly, trying to remember the name- a motel? Yes that was the name. Gabriel had taken him to a motel earlier that day. Sam snorted; well he dragged him to one anyway.

Sam sighed loudly and glanced down to his restricting chains that forced him to stay in the bed, replaying the day's earlier events to himself in his mind, grimacing at where he had to begin.

_Back in Hell, Sam had been quietly sitting in his gray cell room, legs pulled tightly to his chest as his forehead rested on top of his knees. He had been deep in thought when suddenly he heard the large metal door squeak loudly and tensed instantly, awaiting the demons next move. _

_Suddenly a slightly alto voice rang out through the cell, "Sammy boy? You in hear?" Sam let out a grunt of pain as he felt his chest start to tighten quickly at the familiar old nickname his brother had insisted upon calling him. He heard something shuffle fastly towards him and he couldn't help but raise his head in curiosity at who was there._

Sam couldn't help but smirk. Saying he had been in 'shock_' _at seeing the archangel standing in front of him, especially while he was in HELL, would have been a understatement.

_Frowning, he thought hard to remember the name of the familiar looking man in front of him… Memories of his life on Earth had faded greatly during his time down hear. And Sam barely remembered anything besides the really important things that he used to help keep him as sane as he could down hear._

_Hunting… The Impala… Dad…. Sam felt himself choke up at the most important one. Dean. But shaking his head, he strained to recall the mans name. G…Gabriel? Yes that was it. Gabriel seemed just as shocked, and a little horrified once Sam had raised his head to him._

_The trickster/archangel gaped down at the younger Winchester son then sighed loudly, closing his eyes and tilting his head downwards as he pinched the bridge of his nose shaking his head. "Oh…shit" _

_Sam had tilted his head curiously at the man, curious at his response, before asking, "Gabriel? What the Hell are you doing here?" Sam was slightly shocked as his voice rang out of his throat. _

_He couldn't be sure, maybe it was just from all the time he had spent screaming down hear, but his voice sounded about an octave and ½ deeper then before. _

_But time was pretty much meaningless down hear, so all considering, maybe it had just changed with time. Gabriel didn't move from his position for a long moment, before slowly moving from his spot and lowering himself to his knees in front of the younger man. "Sam…" He started carefully, "Have you been feeling, err, different lately?" Sam tilted his head more, before answering, _

_"I guess, why do you ask? And better question yet, I repeat,__** WHY**__ are you __**HERE**__?" Gabriel arched an eyebrow before responding, "Well Sammy boy I got an answer for both of those questions. One you probably won't like taking into consideration on how you ended up in this lovely little place, and Two all depends on how far you've strayed from your soft and cuddly side because from my view point, Sam-ster, cause' your not looking to…uh," Gabriel smirked a little, though there was a trace of sympathy in his voice, _Sam flinched at his next word, _"Human."_

_Sam felt his stomach fly down to his feet and go ridged, "W-What the Hell are you talking about 'not to FUCKING HUMAN?" Gabriel held his hands up in defense, "Hey, hey there don't shoot the messenger. See for yourself." Gabriel snapped his fingers and before Sam could blink a medium, ovalish mirror appeared in front of him. Sam felt all the air whoosh out of his body as he slowly drank in the sight. _

_He had become visibly paler, though that's to be expected considering where he was, but there were other more…-he felt his stomach clench-… 'Noticeable' attributes._

_For one his hair was now no longer his original soft, chocolate brown. It had darkened so much it was in all forms of the word 'black.' The exact shade of the demons eyes… Sam shrived more as he continued in disbelief that he hadn't seen these changes sooner. _

_Though his face stayed pretty much the same, his cheekbones seemed higher in a, -Sam fought for the right word- in a more 'regal' way? Yes that was the word. They were sharper and more defined then they had originally been. He slowly raised himself to his feet, the mirror following him and growing longer and wider so he could fully take in the view of the new him. _

_If possible, it seemed that he had actually grown TALLER! Sam gaped at the man in the mirror in front of him. He had to have near 6'9 possibly 6'10. _

_His shoulders had also seemed to broadened quite a bit during his unknown transformation. He was still lean, and there didn't seem to be even an ounce of fat on him. His arms, well, if you wanted to be blunt about it, he was Completely. __Fricken. Ripped. _

_His gape grew more as he carefully examined his biceps. Flexing them once or twice in admiration, he slowly drew his eyes away from his newly acquired muscles his eyes finally landed back on his face. And he felt like he'd been punched in the stomach again._

_His eyes…HIS EYES! His hand flew over his mouth in shock as he gazed deeply into them. They were a swirling yellow..._

_Shaking his head at the displeasing thought, Sam criss-crossed his arms tightly across his chest, hands clutching his hips as he continued to gape into the mirror in shock in awe._

_"Uh, Sammy… Now seems like the best time to bring this up considering your still busy ogling over the 'new you' in the mirror, to answer your second question. Y'see... the__e reason I'm hear is because Dean made a deal with me to bring you back from Hell." _

_The archangel quickly rushed out, crossing his fingers in hope that the stunned man wouldn't have been paying attention. No such luck. Sam went to full alert, cringing at the mention of his older brothers name, and snapped his head towards the man, eyes wide. "H-HE DID WHAT?" The younger sibling screeched. _

_Gabriel's hands flew up again, "Wait! Before you jump to conclusions, he didn't make a deal with his soul! He just said that if I managed to yank you outta' Hell you two assmonkeys would stop hounding me 24/7 and let me continue on with my eternal life!" _

_Sam was still gaping at him but suddenly a strange thought flicked through his mind and he felt his face wrinkle in disgust as he hesitantly asked, "You, um, h-how did you 'seal' the deal? Did you and him…ugh," Sam groaned inwardly at the thought._

_"Did you and him, errrr…?" He left off, letting the angel use his imagination to figure out the end. Gabriel's face blanked for a moment, the question completely flying over his head, before resolution filling his eyes, along with a colorful assortment of disgust and horror. _

_"O-OH GOD SAM! EW!" Gabriel shrieked, causing Sam to smirk a little at how uncomfortable the angel looked "NO! NO! NO! And thank God for that!" He shook his head firmly, before swiftly leaping to his feet and walking over to Sam. _

_"Well Sammy, lets hit the road." Gabriel had been reaching out towards him, but Sam quickly jumped back before he could make the physical contact. "N-No! The whole reason I came here was for Dean!" Sam ground out, hand clutching his arm as he pressed his back up against the cold gray stone. _

_"It's all my fault the Apocalypse started…" Sam whispered miserably to himself, "T-This is where I belong now… And besides, D-Dean doesn't need me anymore. He's probably doing better then he ever did when I was around, holding him back anyway…" _

_Sam mumbled weakly to himself, not sure if he was trying to convince the man in front of him, or himself more. _

_There was a long pause, before the answer came, "Sam… I can honestly say I couldn't care less about the fate of you and Mr. Sunshine and Puppies up there, but when he told me that you had died? I couldn't help but feel a little bad for you two chuckle heads." _

_Sam stared up in disbelief, arching an eyebrow as he continued, "Oh don't give me that look. I'm not TOTALLY heartless you know."_

_Sam snorted loudly and was about to disagree with him but he cut him off, continuing, "As I was saying! Yea I felt a little bad. Because Sammy, the look on his face when he said that was classic, 100% devastation. And it made me think of how I would feel if I ever lost a brother like that. Did you really think that Dean wanted you to KILL YOURSELF?" The angel demanded._

_Sam flushed softly, looking down guilitly._

_Not needing an answer, he scoffed a little, "That's what I thought."_

_Shaking his head in something resembling disgust, Gabriel looked back down to him._

_"Sam, he went through Hell and back –LITERALY- because he loved you that much and couldn't live with the fact that you were dead. And how do you repay him? By letting the poor shmuck wake up in the morning to come downstairs and slip in his brothers POOL of blood." Sam flinched at the angels harsh words. But he continued, shaking his head in slight disgust. _

_"Seriously man, even I gotta say that it was a liiittttllleee drastic don't'cha think?" Sam didn't bother to answer. Damnit, he hated him that he was right. Guilt washed over him in waves, as he put himself in his brother's shoes. How awful he would have felt if that had been how he had found his own brother._

_Sam sighed loudly and slowly looked back up. "Alright…Lets just get the fuck out of here." And before Sam could blink Gabriel had a tight grip on his shoulder and everything went dark. _

Sam remembered waking up, -freaking out slightly at his new surroundings before he remembered the recent turn of events,- chained to the bed and had struggled against them before Gabriel had made his reappearance.

Chuckling, the angel shook his head as he looked down at Sam.

"Sorry kid. But I've spent the past two months trying to find your hide down in the pit, and I ain't taking the chance of you killing yourself off again. Cause I sure as shit ain't going back down there again." Sam had wanted to protest but the angel was gone before he could even open his mouth. Sighing loudly, Sam scowled down at his chains and shook his head.

"Some things never change," Sam grumbled out to himself.

"Once an asshole, always an asshole."

**_Castiel's POV_**

**_About 20 min's before he talked to Dean._**

_Castiel had been silently flipping through one of Bobby's older books, doing research on Dean's most recent hunting cases when Gabriel had appeared. He had looked up from the large book, arching an eyebrow in question at his brother. Gabriel stood there, shuffling awkwardly with his hand on the back of his neck, rubbing it quietly. _

"Err...Cas, I found Sam." Castiel felt his heart speed up at the words and quickly sprung to his feet, striding over to the other man.

"And, where is he? Why have you not returned him to Dean yet?" He pressed, narrowing his eyes suspiciously on him.

"Well...I brought him back and everything but, well, he's kinda what you would call...um, damaged goods." Castiel felt his breath catch in his throat.

He narrowed his eyes sharply on the archangel."What do you mean 'damaged goods'?" Castiel demanded. Gabriel sighed loudly once, before sitting down and explaining the entire situation that was Sam Winchester, to his younger sibling.

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**Hope you all enjoyed that chap! I'll try to update as soon as I can. :-]**

**[P.S. Don't you all just love when I write longer chaps? xD Maybe if ya'll start posting more reviews, I'll keep it up! *hint hint* See ya all next time!**

**~Luvz, Littleaprilroses. ;)**


	13. Chapter 13

**It Wasn't Your Fault, Sammy…**

**{Notice!: I do not own the Winchester name nor' have I ever. This was created purely for entertainment of others and myself. Thank You}**

**[Extra Note: Wow! It's been a lil while since I've last updated. This month has just been and 'Ughhh' kinda month xD So much crap going on and I haven't really had much time to update. Hope ya'll like the new chap! Enjoy! :)]**

**Chapter 13**

_**Dean's POV  
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Dean felt his breath catch in his throat. Heart racing, he choked out, "W-What kind of consequences?" Castiel stared sadly at him. "Dean…Samuel has," Castiel let out a long, shuddering sigh. "Dean, Sam was changed during his time in Hell..."

Dean felt the blood rush from his face and became cold, "What are you talking about." He hissed frantically. Castiel was quiet for a moment, before taking a hesitant step forward. Dean saw the graveness etched into the rebel angel's face.

"He has become…_'demonic_' is really the best term. I am so sorry Dean;" Castiel whispered quietly, "But Gabriel was not able to reach Sam in time before the change could take place."

Dean felt the coldness grow, and felt his face blank before answer, "I want to see him Cas."

Castiel's eyes grew, before adding hastily, "I do not think that would be the wisest choice Dean…" Grinding his teeth tougher, he growled out, "I don't care Cas, I want to see my brother _now." _

Castiel let out a loud sigh, the grave expression growing deeper and he looked like he wanted to argue, but the glare Dean shot him showed Casitel that he was clearly _not_ in the arguing mood and that this was a non-negotiable situation. "Very well…" Casitel sighed, before putting his hand up and lightly pressing two fingers to Dean's forehead.

_**Sam's POV**_

"1,850 bottles of beer on the wall" Sam drawled to himself, "1,850 bottles of beer, take one down pass it around, 1,850 bottles of beer on the wall." Sam let out a loud groan, letting his head thump back against the headboard. This was ridiculous! He'd been chained to this damn bed for the past 6 hours without a word from Gabriel.

Grumbling indstinctivly to himself, Sam let out a long sigh before continuing, "1,851 bottles of beer on the wa-" There was the sudden distinct sound of feathers softly fluttering and Sam snapped his head over towards the sound. "Well its about damn time! Where the hell were yo..."

Sam trailed off and felt a strong electric current of shock roar through him as he saw the two men before him.

Tears filling his eyes, he squeaked softly, as if unsure if he could believe his own eyes, "D-Dean? C-Cas?... Is it really you?" Castiel stood grimly before Sam, giving him only the slight nod of his head to confirm that he was indeed there.

A small smile started to break across his face, exposing the newly acquired small fangs where he canines had once resided. Feeling his heart acceralate he hesitantly turned his head towards his older brother, gulping meekly as he slowly turned his head twords the other mans face. Only one thought racing through his mind as he slowly raised his eyes to his older brother._ 'Will he still love me?...'_

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**DUN DUN DUHHHH! O:**


	14. Chapter 14

**It Wasn't Your Fault, Sammy…**

**{Notice!: I do not own the Winchester, name nor' have I ever. This was created purely for entertainment of others and myself. Thank You}**

**Chapter 14**

_**Dean's POV**_

He didn't know how to process the sight that had been set before him. Honestly, he was at a complete loss. His brother was…was. God, he didn't even know what he was anymore. His once lightly tanned skin was now an unhealthy, slightly -grayed from the lack of sunlight- shade of alabaster white.

Though not 100% sure, but pretty damn close, Dean could have sworn that his hair was at least two shade's darker then the old light, chocolate brown he had grown up with.

And his eyes…oh God his eyes. Forcing the bile down, Dean thought fearfully in disbelief, _Is this man really my Sam? _The same Sam who used to trail along behind me wherever I went as kids. Who decided to frequent crawling into my bed at night for comfort whenever he would have a nightmare, and be happily given it?

Dean took a moment to take in carefully what hadn't changed and smiled a bit. Sam's hair, though darker was still as long and floppy as it had ever been. Still reminding the older Winchester of a giant puppy dog. His appearance, facially had not changed much either, it was still soft, though slightly more defined then before.

And his eyes…Though with their momentarily, finely hated color, were still as loving and devoted as ever. Dean could see Sam was struggling as well. Forcing back his flood worthy tears of relief, he finally managed to barely choke out a soft, "S-S-Sammy?..."

And what his baby brother did next broke the dam to shambles. Eye's filling with obvious tears; he choked in the softest voice, oddly childlike for someone who just spent 20 in the Pit, "D-De? I-Is it really you?" Giving him a unbearably wide smile, the first real smile he had had in weeks, he broke down.

"O-Oh God Sammy it really is you, ya' giant girl!" And launched himself across the small gap between the two brothers, landing swiftly with a loud _THUD_ on his chest. "Holy crap!" Sam squawked in surprise, but was quickly cut of when Dean's arm's wrapped tightly around his neck and embraced him. Chick-Flick moments be damned.

Dean Winchester was going to hug his recently undead baby brother and thoroughly enjoy it! And he'd beat the crap out of anyone who called him out on it. He felt Sam tense up under him for a brief moment in the pure shock of it, and then practically melting in to his embrace.

Collapsing into his own reservoir of unshed tears –thank God he wasn't the only current chick at the moment- the younger man started to sob out,

"I-I'm so s-sorry D-Dean. I j-just wanted t-the pain t-t-to all stop. I j-just wanted y-you to not h-have to worry a-a-about me a-anymore. To b-be ha-ha-" But he was unable to finish his own sentence before breaking into another strangled fit of tears and burring his wet face into his older brothers shoulder.

A white-hot flash of anger shot through him and he roughly removed his arms from around his younger brothers neck and grabbed his currently soaked in hot tears cheeks, jerking his gaze up into his own until they were eye-to-eye. "Now you listen to me Samuel Winchester and you listen damn good cause I sure as hell am not in the mood for repeating myself. I would, and NEVER will be happy with you dead.

Do you understand me? NEVER! So, so help me GOD if you ever pull this fricken STUPID ASS shit again I will personally march into hell myself; drag you out with my bare hand's killing any stupid sonuvabitch, demon bastard that gets in my way. And after I finally bring you back I will kick your ass so God damned hard you'll be permanently walking with a limp for the rest of your unnatural born life!"

Giving him a small smile Sam nodded in understanding. Humor glinting in the younger hunter's eyes, his smile suddenly broke into a full on grin.

"I missed you to Dean." Opening his eyes wide shock, Dean couldn't hold back the loud, jovial laugh that erupted from his lungs.

Yep, this sure as hell was his Sam, smart-ass attitude and all. Smirking as a sudden wave of nostalgia washed over him, he lightly joked, "Damn Sammy, still a girly bitch, huh?" Returning his smirk with one of his own, Sam shot back the most nirvana inducing insult Dean had ever heard in his life. "Shut up jerk."

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**{A/N: *looks at last update date on this story* WOW! It has been awhile since I last updated, huh? Well, I finally decided to kick my but into gear and update this story, along with any other's I post, :] Thing's have just been a little hectic lately. I promise to make them more frequent from now on. See ya'll next time!}**


	15. Chapter 15

**It Wasn't Your Fault, Sammy… **

**{Notice!: I do not own the Winchester name nor' have I ever. This was created purely for entertainment of others and myself. Thank You}**

**Chapter 15**

_**Dean's POV**_

Dean silently cruised down the wide opened highway, Sam at his side and Pink Floyd's, _Dark Side Of The Moon _on low. Sam hadn't changed back yet, so they both had come to the assumption that he wasn't going to be for some time, if at all. Dean had managed to snag a pair of colored contacts for him to use until then.

They we're almost exactly the same color as his eyes had once been, but both brothers knew that behind the colored film lay the eyes of a demon. And it scared him. It scared the holy living hell out of him. But Sam gave no signs of possession or demonic traits, besides the physical ones.

And Dean was just so goddamn elated to have his baby brother back that, though it scared him, he honestly couldn't find it in himself to care.

Sam had been quiet since their reunion. And Dean had expected as much. The kid had been through... something no living being should ever have to endure. And it nearly brought him to tears every time he thought about the fact that his baby brother had spent almost twenty-five years in that awful place.

Twenty-five years of God knows what having and being forced to do so many horrific things. Dean felt his heart ice over at the mere thought that Sammy, his little brother, had to go though anything that he had been forced to endure though during his time down under.

Turning his head over towards his younger brother, he took in the sight. Sam's head was leaning against the window, eyes half closed as he stared out the window with such an intensity that Dean was surprised that there weren't two little holes burned though the glass where his eyes rested.

Dean shook his head. Something needed to be said, he could just feel it. Looking over at his daydreaming brother he took a deep breath.

"Hey, Sammy?" Dean asked softly. His voice breaking the silence seemed to pull him out of his state, and Sam turned his eyes onto the older sibling.

"Hmm?" He inquired. Looking at him with a tender, sad gaze, Dean asked softly, "You know I love you, right Sammy? You know that... no matter what, I'll always be there for you... right?" Sam gave him the most breathtakingly calming smile and nodded in full confidence, "Yea Dean, I do. I'm so sorry... about what I did. I was just... confused and scared and hurt."

Dean felt a sharp pang of guilt bolt though his heart, and Sam quickly went on, "Not because of you, Dean! Just... because of what I did. Despite it all, you were right man. What happened, me starting the Apocalypse. It was all my fault."

Dean opened his mouth to protest but Sam cut him off with the wave of a hand, "No dude, you were right. It was my fault and now it's my job to clean it up. I'm just so fricken sorry that you got dragged into my mess to." He finished solemnly.

A flash of anger rocked though him and Dean shook his head fiercely.

"No Sam. This was as much my fault as it was yours. I pushed you away by holding on to tight. I just always thought it was my job to keep you on the straight and narrow that I never actually took into account that you could do it for yourself... I pushed you into the arms of that skank Ruby, Sam. So this thing we have going on now? It's both our mess and its both our responsibility to clean it up."

Sam looked at him with wide, shocked eyes and Dean gave him a small, crooked smile, "So sorry Sammy, but your stuck with me." Sam seemed gobsmacked for a long moment, before a small, pleased smile spread across his face.

"You ready to fight this thing man? Things are looking pretty heavy from here on out." Sam told him carefully.

Giving him a cocky, Dean Winchester smile, he said "And since when has that ever stopped us before?" Sam grinned at that and nodded in agreement.

And with that, they both looked back towards the open road and smiled, both completely contempt with the silence now.

Because you see, nothing could keep Sam and Dean Winchester apart. Not angels or demons. Not wendigos or shapeshifters.

Not even Hell itself. And trust me when I say, both brothers can throughly vouch for that.

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_**the end...**_

**Holy hell, I totally lied in the last chapter, xD ****Almost 5 months since my last update, WOW! ****I always used to shun people who did that and now I get it. ****Time really does fly. Anyways, thanks for the reviews and reading this! Your support is always appreciated... :)**


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